get your mind out of the gutter.
My mind is grinding and the gears have all but stopped. I try and write, but its hard. For some reason the words aren't coming and the frustration is mounting and I am almost in tears as I hold my head in my hands and think, think, and think some more.......
goddamnitt! again and again and again, over and over and over......
like i have said before, i just want to enjoy writing. I have put the dreams that i had as a teenager aside and settled into the fact that a career in the story telling field just isn't realistic for a 32 year old boy like myself and now I just want to write to entertain myself, because video games get boring if you play them non stop and I do have some ideas that i chuckle at from time to time and want to record for posterity.
the fun just isn't coming.
I usually write longhand, in a notebook, and then type out and edit from there onto a laptop. when using a pencil and paper, things come out smooth and easy without strain or blockage. but, when I sit down at the keyboard, I get constipated, sweat forms on my brow and tears well up as I push and heave, gripping the sides of my computer when I try to copy what I have already written.
Is it stress?
Am I gun shy when things get technical and i have to make things sound proper and pretty? thinking of structure and form.
spelling and flow.
I just want everything to ease out in a compact and odorless way. I want to finish my movement and sigh with relief...............
I guess this problem just comes more and more as you get older. I'm sure that a more creative mind has it's ways of staying regular, but not mine. I just clog it up with unhealthy and junkie material that my brain has no business trying to digest.
guess I'll just have to flush out my system more often.
a rush of cooling, cleansing water through my brains dookie shoot would probably do the trick.
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7 comments:
Nice inferences...to other bodily functions.
I guess we need to find you a screen and stylus so as to make it seem like paper and pen?
Don't worry so much about sentence structure, etc. The content is what matters...
However, I could most definitely whip out the 'ol red pen from time to time to "assist" with spelling errors. But, you know I am kind of a fanatic that way.
I dig it. Excellent. Fantastical. Give me more...
so, i fuck up, even with a spell check?
huh.
The word "it" requires an apostrophe when it's abbreviated for "it is"...otherwise, the apostrophe is not needed. That's all I am saying....for now.
then just write it on paper and have someone else type it out for you.
baby.
maybe you should also vary the people you play video games with too. just sayin'. HeHe.
it's not so much the typing. i was having a slow, mental day yesterday. and yes, i would agree that i need to vary the people i play with.
various people should have invested in a 360 the first time around. that way, various people could play with people they know. such as: me, their brother, robert, greg........ i'm sure the list goes on.
just sayin'. ha!
various people don't have $10,000 (yes, THOUSAND) of home repair coming up.
Just get to writin'!
no..... i meant your initial purchase of a video game system..... errrr, no, i meant certain peoples.... i was just saying you should have gotten a 360 the first time around and held out for the ps3 to drop in price...... i was aware of your repair needs, thats why i didn't say you should get one now.....
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